Well, having high fever for 2 days le... and still haven recover =/ I thought it was nothing as it stay constant at 38.3 Degree Celsius for the first day. I ate panadol to stabilize the condition lo.
On the second day, I found out that there is no more panadol left zzz! So ya... I still don't really care cause it still bound back to 38.3 Degree Celsius. So ya I went to bed =/ after awhile I felt so hot and cold -.-! I get myself out of bed and on my comp to seek for help. I scan through my msn. First is to see whether any relative was online to send me to see doctor. Unfortunately, none was online. However, I saw Jackson Online lo. Asking if he is free. He told me that he is busying with some stuff. So I don't hope to ma fan him as it was so late le.
Scan through my msn again... LOL den I realised that I only got 3 frens with driving licence. Dots. I saw mike online. But I bu hao yi si. Cause tml having school lo. Plus he got GF ar.. Not good if I request him to come and drive me to see doctor. So I put down the thought of see-ing doctor. I saw ShuXian online so I called her up for small chat. Didn't know that she was sleeping =/ I told her I'm having fever. She insisted to bring me to see doctor lor. Meanwhile, Terence told me that he wanted to come down and fetch me to see doctor. Well again, I rejected. Reason is simple. Its late and I don't wish I'm with a guy alone out at night even its plainly see-ing doc unless Im really dying larh haha. Or he is the closest friend of mine. I'm sorry if my sentence is hurtful to you. But I hope you understand that I don't like to give fasle hope. Cause I know it hurts.
Continue... Shuxian's Boyfriend took cab from Yishun to fetch her and came over my place to fetch me. Then we went to private hospital at Taman Jurong. When I reach there, my fever goes up to 38.7 Degree Celsius. Dots! Doctor say that I'm having throat infection =/ I got 3 type of medicine. 1 is for Throat, 2nd is for fever, 3rd is for stomach(something to protect my stomach cause the fever pills is too strong) I was abit worry taking the fever pill. Because I had not been eating much this few weeks. I can feel my stomach aching sometimes. I kept thinking that will that pill make my stomach worse or I got a hole in my stomach or tumor? Things just goes round and round in my brain =/ I scare to die. Just like my mum. Why? Because human can't let go the things on earth? Or maybe they got lots of things incomplete? Or they haven't tell someone how much they love them? Well, if I am diagnose with a fatal illness, I will scare too. plainly the reason will be I can't let go of this family. My brother is not reliable larh. He got heck care attitude. His face is just so heck care even if he really care. I PEI FU his girlfriend sia. Can ta han him.
Ok back to the point. After see-ing doctor, ShuXian and her boyfriend came to my house. She cooked me porriage and went home. Before I went to sleep, my fever went up to 39 Degree Celsius. Didn't really bother cause I just ate medicine. Morning when I woke up. Fever are slightly better. But still having sore throat and headache. The temperature just goes up and down -.-
Today I met up with Pristal for dinner. I'm having fever I know. But just don't wanna stuff myself at home -.-! so I ate medicine before I when out lor. Met Pristal and we went to Bento Box for dinner. I ate 2 prawns, 2 spoon of rice, some chicken... and I felt like vomiting already. Pain came from stomach? I not sure where was it. I feel weird. But still I tried not to puke it out. After eating, We went to watch "The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons". Half way through, I went to the toilet and vomit -.-!
As close friend knows that when I came to stress or break ups, normally I will vomit. But this time round was different. Maybe a few day back I vomited because of break ups, but I never miss or think about it already yet I just puked -.-! kept thinking that am I having hole in my stomach. LAME ME! LOL!
Ah larhs! if this continue, I think I ask my dad bring me for scanning lor. =/
OK CONTINUE! After movies, I send Pristal home and I headed back home too.
Mummy, I know you are worried. Me too. Cause I know I got lots of things incomplete. Mummy, I think its the time to tell you the truth why me and him broke off.
Maybe to him, He say because I break 3 times with him in total. And makes him very tired.
But Mummy... I didn't meant to say broke up so easily. Is just because I can't take the way he control me.
Example..
If I was sitting with a table, I was not allowed to let my breast touches the table. I didn't place my breast on it. Its just too big -.-! even bu xiao xin I also not allowed.
I can never wear to lou. This I understand so I never wear. But my breast quite big ma, so some clothes will lou maybe 1cm of my long gou. Then I not allowed to wear le. But after some talk, he allowed me to wear but not very very lou type. Sometimes I always wore the same clothes. Its not that I don't wanna wear nice. Is not that I'm lazy. Because what I wear must have his approval before I can wore out daily. Maybe for a simple clothes, people with normal size breast will not have long gou. not even a cm. But for big ones are different. we wore definately got problem de. I don't choose to born with big breast I'm sorry.
I know I'm clumsy... sometime I turned I will knock onto someone. He will say me lo. But I have to say Wo bu shi gu yi de. hais. If I never knock onto someone, but just a close distance with someone. He will say "you know about 1cm you will knock onto him?" Because of this, I'm always worried going out with him. Because I don't know what will happen nex step. Will anyone knock onto me? What will he say again? will we argue because of that? eventually it became a mental torture to me. Just wanna tell him that I can't predict whats going to happen. I won't deny that my reaction was slow. Thats why I don't play CS or Dota. Cause I know no matter how long I learn, I still cannot master it. Because I'm too slow to react. So I just enjoy watching him play.
I was not allow to hold girls hand. Example, girls likes to shares things. They will hold another girl hand to share their thoughts. Whether it was gossips or happy stuff. I was not allowed to do so. Even taking photo, I must stay a distance with girls. No hugging or arms over arms while taking photo. He will argue with me. I'm not allowed to do so. No body contact with girls. Is not that I'm a lesbian? I really don't know what's wrong with that.
My cousin angel sometime will bu xiao xin knock onto my breast or so... because its too big le...i mean big breast will have this type of problem. He will angry. I wonder why? She got no intention to touch. She is BU XIAO XIN DE! He always say that I don't know how to protect isit? Its too sudden liao how u wan me to do? Sometime is not we don't wanna block or protect. But its too sudden already. May I know how?
One of my friend told me... if he can react faster den me, why don't he react and block before she touches you? Well... I'm totally agree with that.
Mummy, I know he love me alot and care for me alot last time. But he too control over me le. I choose to break up for the 1st 3 times... all are the above reason. Can I ask anyone that did I break up unreasonly? I got high torelants level. I saw him share cigrette with a female fren. I didn't voice up. Cause his friend was there. So I just keep quiet till next day morning then I told him that I don't like him to do so. The feeling was bad. I can torerate but there is limits to it.
I can torerate that he smoke. Only sometimes will ask him dun smoke. But sometimes it came to my limits.
But I just can't torerate how he control me. I dun mind he control me. But he is too extreme le bah? I'm faithful I know. I kept distance with guys. Even if meeting up with guys, definately I will bring him along. whereas I know he is faithful too.
But he say I break too many times. Maybe to his friends will think that I'm being unreasonable. BUT as you see the reason why am I asking for break? How many girls can torerate? I thought I could. But the way he control getting stronger n stronger. I can't breathe. I understand Man's view (even I dun really know but at least the most common ones). But he is not man's view.... his plainly HIS OWN VIEW. I know he love me alot thats why he do so. But hais... I hope I can change him, but I was wrong.
I asked if he wana patch and I don't mind to wait for him to change. But he don't want. He say he no feeling for me. So alright. So I think is time to tell you the reason Mummy. Is not totally me who is unreasonable.
We both got no fault. Is the different views that breaks us apart. There is none to blame. Cause we are born differently. He treat me very good. I know he can give up his life for me. Is just that views that bother us. Maybe we ain't the right one for each other. I was to naive that I waited. Cause he don't appreciate it at all Mummy.
Can Anyone feel the pain in me...
Mummy, I didn't meant to break up so easily. Because I felt that I'm being mentally tortured That's the reason. Sometime he hurt himself physically just because of arguments or so... I felt I'm in difficult position as it made me more mentally unstable. It turn out to be fear sometimes.
Mummy, I don't know what else to say. But I really really miss you.
Well, having high fever for 2 days le... and still haven recover =/ I thought it was nothing as it stay constant at 38.3 Degree Celsius for the first day. I ate panadol to stabilize the condition lo.
On the second day, I found out that there is no more panadol left zzz! So ya... I still don't really care cause it still bound back to 38.3 Degree Celsius. So ya I went to bed =/ after awhile I felt so hot and cold -.-! I get myself out of bed and on my comp to seek for help. I scan through my msn. First is to see whether any relative was online to send me to see doctor. Unfortunately, none was online. However, I saw Jackson Online lo. Asking if he is free. He told me that he is busying with some stuff. So I don't hope to ma fan him as it was so late le.
Scan through my msn again... LOL den I realised that I only got 3 frens with driving licence. Dots. I saw mike online. But I bu hao yi si. Cause tml having school lo. Plus he got GF ar.. Not good if I request him to come and drive me to see doctor. So I put down the thought of see-ing doctor. I saw ShuXian online so I called her up for small chat. Didn't know that she was sleeping =/ I told her I'm having fever. She insisted to bring me to see doctor lor. Meanwhile, Terence told me that he wanted to come down and fetch me to see doctor. Well again, I rejected. Reason is simple. Its late and I don't wish I'm with a guy alone out at night even its plainly see-ing doc unless Im really dying larh haha. Or he is the closest friend of mine. I'm sorry if my sentence is hurtful to you. But I hope you understand that I don't like to give fasle hope. Cause I know it hurts.
Continue... Shuxian's Boyfriend took cab from Yishun to fetch her and came over my place to fetch me. Then we went to private hospital at Taman Jurong. When I reach there, my fever goes up to 38.7 Degree Celsius. Dots! Doctor say that I'm having throat infection =/ I got 3 type of medicine. 1 is for Throat, 2nd is for fever, 3rd is for stomach(something to protect my stomach cause the fever pills is too strong) I was abit worry taking the fever pill. Because I had not been eating much this few weeks. I can feel my stomach aching sometimes. I kept thinking that will that pill make my stomach worse or I got a hole in my stomach or tumor? Things just goes round and round in my brain =/ I scare to die. Just like my mum. Why? Because human can't let go the things on earth? Or maybe they got lots of things incomplete? Or they haven't tell someone how much they love them? Well, if I am diagnose with a fatal illness, I will scare too. plainly the reason will be I can't let go of this family. My brother is not reliable larh. He got heck care attitude. His face is just so heck care even if he really care. I PEI FU his girlfriend sia. Can ta han him.
Ok back to the point. After see-ing doctor, ShuXian and her boyfriend came to my house. She cooked me porriage and went home. Before I went to sleep, my fever went up to 39 Degree Celsius. Didn't really bother cause I just ate medicine. Morning when I woke up. Fever are slightly better. But still having sore throat and headache. The temperature just goes up and down -.-
Today I met up with Pristal for dinner. I'm having fever I know. But just don't wanna stuff myself at home -.-! so I ate medicine before I when out lor. Met Pristal and we went to Bento Box for dinner. I ate 2 prawns, 2 spoon of rice, some chicken... and I felt like vomiting already. Pain came from stomach? I not sure where was it. I feel weird. But still I tried not to puke it out. After eating, We went to watch "The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons". Half way through, I went to the toilet and vomit -.-!
As close friend knows that when I came to stress or break ups, normally I will vomit. But this time round was different. Maybe a few day back I vomited because of break ups, but I never miss or think about it already yet I just puked -.-! kept thinking that am I having hole in my stomach. LAME ME! LOL!
Ah larhs! if this continue, I think I ask my dad bring me for scanning lor. =/
OK CONTINUE! After movies, I send Pristal home and I headed back home too.
Mummy, I know you are worried. Me too. Cause I know I got lots of things incomplete. Mummy, I think its the time to tell you the truth why me and him broke off.
Maybe to him, He say because I break 3 times with him in total. And makes him very tired.
But Mummy... I didn't meant to say broke up so easily. Is just because I can't take the way he control me.
Example..
If I was sitting with a table, I was not allowed to let my breast touches the table. I didn't place my breast on it. Its just too big -.-! even bu xiao xin I also not allowed.
I can never wear to lou. This I understand so I never wear. But my breast quite big ma, so some clothes will lou maybe 1cm of my long gou. Then I not allowed to wear le. But after some talk, he allowed me to wear but not very very lou type. Sometimes I always wore the same clothes. Its not that I don't wanna wear nice. Is not that I'm lazy. Because what I wear must have his approval before I can wore out daily. Maybe for a simple clothes, people with normal size breast will not have long gou. not even a cm. But for big ones are different. we wore definately got problem de. I don't choose to born with big breast I'm sorry.
I know I'm clumsy... sometime I turned I will knock onto someone. He will say me lo. But I have to say Wo bu shi gu yi de. hais. If I never knock onto someone, but just a close distance with someone. He will say "you know about 1cm you will knock onto him?" Because of this, I'm always worried going out with him. Because I don't know what will happen nex step. Will anyone knock onto me? What will he say again? will we argue because of that? eventually it became a mental torture to me. Just wanna tell him that I can't predict whats going to happen. I won't deny that my reaction was slow. Thats why I don't play CS or Dota. Cause I know no matter how long I learn, I still cannot master it. Because I'm too slow to react. So I just enjoy watching him play.
I was not allow to hold girls hand. Example, girls likes to shares things. They will hold another girl hand to share their thoughts. Whether it was gossips or happy stuff. I was not allowed to do so. Even taking photo, I must stay a distance with girls. No hugging or arms over arms while taking photo. He will argue with me. I'm not allowed to do so. No body contact with girls. Is not that I'm a lesbian? I really don't know what's wrong with that.
My cousin angel sometime will bu xiao xin knock onto my breast or so... because its too big le...i mean big breast will have this type of problem. He will angry. I wonder why? She got no intention to touch. She is BU XIAO XIN DE! He always say that I don't know how to protect isit? Its too sudden liao how u wan me to do? Sometime is not we don't wanna block or protect. But its too sudden already. May I know how?
One of my friend told me... if he can react faster den me, why don't he react and block before she touches you? Well... I'm totally agree with that.
Mummy, I know he love me alot and care for me alot last time. But he too control over me le. I choose to break up for the 1st 3 times... all are the above reason. Can I ask anyone that did I break up unreasonly? I got high torelants level. I saw him share cigrette with a female fren. I didn't voice up. Cause his friend was there. So I just keep quiet till next day morning then I told him that I don't like him to do so. The feeling was bad. I can torerate but there is limits to it.
I can torerate that he smoke. Only sometimes will ask him dun smoke. But sometimes it came to my limits.
But I just can't torerate how he control me. I dun mind he control me. But he is too extreme le bah? I'm faithful I know. I kept distance with guys. Even if meeting up with guys, definately I will bring him along. whereas I know he is faithful too.
But he say I break too many times. Maybe to his friends will think that I'm being unreasonable. BUT as you see the reason why am I asking for break? How many girls can torerate? I thought I could. But the way he control getting stronger n stronger. I can't breathe. I understand Man's view (even I dun really know but at least the most common ones). But he is not man's view.... his plainly HIS OWN VIEW. I know he love me alot thats why he do so. But hais... I hope I can change him, but I was wrong.
I asked if he wana patch and I don't mind to wait for him to change. But he don't want. He say he no feeling for me. So alright. So I think is time to tell you the reason Mummy. Is not totally me who is unreasonable.
We both got no fault. Is the different views that breaks us apart. There is none to blame. Cause we are born differently. He treat me very good. I know he can give up his life for me. Is just that views that bother us. Maybe we ain't the right one for each other. I was to naive that I waited. Cause he don't appreciate it at all Mummy.
Can Anyone feel the pain in me...
Mummy, I didn't meant to break up so easily. Because I felt that I'm being mentally tortured That's the reason. Sometime he hurt himself physically just because of arguments or so... I felt I'm in difficult position as it made me more mentally unstable. It turn out to be fear sometimes.
Mummy, I don't know what else to say. But I really really miss you.
` 1996-2001 Corporation Primary School
` 2002-2005 Hua Yi Secondary School
` 2006-2006 Clementi ITE (Nitec in Retail Management)
` 2007-2008 Simei ITE (Higher Nitec in Accounting)
` 2009-2012 Temasek Polytechnic (Accounting and Finance)
` 2012-???? University of London-SIM (Accounting and Finance)
I LOVE...
` My Myself, Dad, Brother, Hadi, Family and Friends
` I DISLIKE...
` Smoke from Cigarette. I don't like the pungent smell
Pure Beauty Heart!
We do not need a beautiful scenery to feel the beauty of this world, the pure heart with love is enough for us to feel the beauty of this world!
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SICK/The Reasons
Updated on 220410 - Family & Dear are healthy and happy!
Updated on 220410 - Digital Camera Samsung ST550
